offensive_mango: (offensive mango)

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Created on 2009-05-05 12:30:21 (#292955), last updated 2009-09-01 (420 weeks ago)

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Birthdate:Sep 15
I'm a mango, and I'm really offensive. Buy me some shit, bitch.

Here is an introduction, for the benefit of new friends.

Books just wanna be FREE! See what I mean at:


TESTIMONIALS about [info]offensive_mango:

[info]socratic said:

You're smug.

Or at least you seem smug. You appear smug to me.

It could be that fucking mango. It's a smug fucking mango. And then there's the name. It's a smug fucking name. "Offensive" says "Don't be offended by me because look I'm WARNING you how offensive I am so YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING." and "Mango" says "I am being ostentatiously silly so you can't pin me down to actually meaning anything. Look how fucking silly I am! I didn't mean it!" The words combine to create a name of great defensive value.

And though you sometime post things that could be considered vulnerable or self-critiquing they are frequently presented with a certain kind of humor that once again places you outside the realm of seriousness or potential actual criticism.

Of course it's possible that this is all just an elaborate system of defenses designed to protect a fragile and vulnerable core, but it's also possible that like your mangoface you're just a smug fucker-of-moms.

"Lady" Lydia Sherman said:

[You are] cowardly and simple-minded. You despise good art and literature and have an askewed [sic] view of history. . . . There is a lot of ridicule going on of the goodness and refinement of the past. Your mockery of these great paintings, the tea ceremony, and the family only shows how unhappy and unsettled you really are. I can only say that the way you view the past is extremely prejudicial, self-righteous, and hypocritical.

[info]erotetica said:

you are a genius.

[info]chiller said:

Good lord, the things that live in your head! You're like the LJ version of Stephen Fry. Only, you know, VASTLY more physically attractive.

Other testimonials welcome! Keep them coming.

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"lady" lydia sherman, alan davies, ants, apostrophes, avoiding children, being pedantic, big brother, books, boxes of hair, breast-autography, buttered toast, cheapass games, comedy, crazy antifeminists, david duchovny, deixis, derren brown, destroying parcelforce, documentaries, dry counties, eastenders, eating nothing but crisps, eddie izzard, electronic communication, english, face pyjamas, falsifying statistics, feminism, festivus, film and tv clich├ęs, fist of fun, flannery o'connor, garlic, gender-neutral pronouns, ghostzilla, grammar, happy fun ball, hating indoor topiary, hating june sarpong, hating lucy mangan, hating onions, hating pretend science, homerhol, humanism, ingmar bergman, insects, intercontinentile ballistic darts, ironic apostrophe's, jack white, jellyfish, john irving, jonathan creek, killing sims horribly, language, lee and herring, linguistics, literature, little gay brandon, logic, london, louis theroux, margaret atwood, marmite, mime stool barons, mornington crescent, music, natch, nice mum, nigel harman, nutella, obscene foreign language rap, peace and quiet, pesto, pink lady apples, pretending to understand, procrastinating, punctuation, quitting, reading, religion, richard herring, roast dinners, rude scrabble, scarlet's well, schoolhouse rock, seinfeld, serenity now, shagging alan davies, shagging david duchovny, shagging derren brown, shagging jack white, shagging louis theroux, shagging nigel harman, shagging richard herring, singing, slacking, sleep, songs with cowbell, stewart lee, subverting the dominant paradigm, surrealism, sushi, tea with sugar, the dutch, the sanctuary, they might be giants, tmwrnj, toad suck daze, too much joy, toonces the driving cat, usage, using imperial measurements, w/e h8r, waffle irons, waffles, we can make sandwiches, william faulkner, wine, woody allen, word games, writing, yoga, your mom
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